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You’ve probably read many different articles about adult toys. To be clear, we’re talking about discreet sex toys here. There has been much published and broadcast on the ways in which these items can be useful in relationships. In fact, sex toys are no longer considered a tool for singles who find themselves “between relationships” anymore. They have become essential for couples to incorporate into their own personal collection and use in private.
There has also been far too much said about how these adult toys should be used. But what about those of us who have no clue whatsoever on what to do with them? This article is for you. Because sooner or later you are going to wish you hadn’t tossed out the instructions with the packaging before reading what that do-dad in your hand is really supposed to be used for.
1 – Toilet or Sink Plunger
Okay, admittedly some of the newer soft gel designs in discreet sex toys now in the market do look like they can serve multiple purposes. Even in places several feet away from the bedroom. However, do not ever, under any circumstances try to use a soft gel dildo as a plunger in either a sink or toilet. Sure, you will get a good seal with some of them, but that’s it. There will be little or no suction which is the science behind a good plunger. Plus, if the model you choose happens to include built-in vibration, all you’ll be doing is creating noise in the pipes rather than anything remotely pleasing. Visit your hardware store for the right tool for this job.
2 – Sink, Shower or Tub Plug
Sure, the word plug may be in the name but it is intended for use somewhere other than in your household plumbing. The same goes for anything that contains the word probe in it. For the unsure, when either of these tools also have the word anal in them they are by no means referencing use in a sink, shower or tub that is located anywhere near a back door. Again, keep the adult toys Ireland loves set aside for the Irish person of your dreams and their plumbing, not that of your home or apartment.
3 – Workshop Projects
What comes to mind when you hear the words clamps and chains? If the best you can come up with is a way to hang tools in the workshop, you are most definitely in need of some extracurricular activities to expand your horizons. While clamps are often found in the workshop, along with chains, the things that should be clamped and chained with them will not be building projects you are trying to set glue on or hang some garden utensils from. These are sex toys Ireland loves to keep discreet until that very moment when it really is time for some real hammering. We’re not talking about woodworking anymore. Well, not that kind of wood, anyway.
4 – Crime Fighting
Handcuffs are meant for criminals, right? But what kind of criminal wears furry cuffs? Let’s give you a hint: a criminal of the worse kind, that’s who! When you think about it, handcuffs are a form of restraint intended for use prior to a measure of punishment. So, if you’ve never really considered handcuffs as a tool of pleasure, there’s no doubt you would get the punishment part. However, the crazy kids of today have found a nifty way of more or less cross breeding both of these things. So, in other words, furry handcuffs will lead to punishment that will produce different levels of pleasure. See? It works on several different levels.
5 – Dressage
Riding crops have come a long way. In fact, they have pretty much cleared the top rail of your average horse show to the main feature in several bedrooms around the globe. It’s one of those sex toys Ireland is famous for – a discreet item that looks as if it should be back in the stable but actually has a secret power of its own when cradled in the right hands. The perfectly balanced riding crop can make a champion out of a stallion, if you know what we mean. It can make the fastest horse come in first and third in the same race. But discreetly.
6 – All Tied Up
There’s rope you use to tie a pile of branches together to load onto the back of a truck and there’s a rope you use to bind up someone to throw on their back in the bedroom. One rope is made of silk and the other one isn’t. Don’t be mistaken, rope has many, many different uses in today’s world. Only the kind you probably usually have access to is either nylon or jute or some other strong and durable material meant for man’s work. However, silk rope, as soft and delicate as it may sound, is also perfect for some forms of man’s work. Just don’t mix them up.
7 – Tape Repairs
The wonders of tape! You can repair boxes, cracks in pipes, hold things together and just basically save yourself a bundle on home repairs just by using the right kind of tape on a whole host of DIY projects. However, there is also another DIY project in the bedroom that begs for the use of some of that very special tape. This is not electrical tape we are talking about. This is not that handy silver duct tape we are talking about. The tape you need for this very special job falls under the category of discreet sex toys. ‘Nuff said.
Careful How You Use Your Sex Toys, Ireland
Now that you know of a number of ways you should not use adult toys, can you think of creative ways in which you should make use of them? Yup, so can we. We’d love to talk about it further but we have an emergency leak in the bedroom that requires immediate attention with a plug or probe and may require some form of restraint until we can properly plunge into the situation. Until next time, play safe!